Your Voice Matters: How to Set Boundaries and Still Be You
In sessions, we hear it all the time:
“I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”
“It’s easier to just stay quiet.”
“I wish I could say no without feeling guilty.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone. So many of us struggle to speak up, especially when we’ve been taught to keep the peace, be “nice,” and put everyone else’s comfort first. But here’s the thing: when we stay quiet too often, we risk losing touch with what we actually want and need.
That’s exactly why we created this week’s topic in our The Girlfriend Hour group: a warm, supportive space where women can talk about what it means to speak up, set healthy limits, and protect their own well-being—without apology.
In this group, we explore why boundaries matter, how to practice them in everyday life, and why finding your voice isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about coming back to yourself.
Why boundaries are healthy, not selfish
One of the biggest myths we hear is that setting boundaries is rude, selfish, or pushy. But the truth is, boundaries aren’t walls meant to shut people out—they’re guides that show others how to treat us and help us stay connected in healthier ways.
When you set boundaries, you’re not rejecting people. You’re simply making space for your own needs alongside theirs. Healthy boundaries protect your time, energy, and mental health so you can show up fully and authentically in every part of your life—whether that’s at work, at home, or in your friendships.
Without boundaries, resentment and burnout tend to build up quietly over time. You might find yourself feeling exhausted, frustrated, or even invisible. By learning to set and keep boundaries, you’re telling yourself (and the world) that your feelings and needs matter too.
Tips to start finding your voice & setting boundaries
If you’re new to this, you don’t have to jump into the hardest conversations first. Here are a few practical ways to begin:
✅ Name what you need
Take a quiet moment to ask yourself: What drains me? What feels unfair? Where do I feel happiest or most relaxed? These answers point to where your boundaries naturally belong.
✅ Practice small nos
It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Start by saying no to something low-stakes, like a group chat you don’t want to join or an invitation to something you don’t really enjoy. Each small no builds confidence for bigger ones.
✅ Use “I” statements
When you do speak up, keep the focus on your feelings instead of blaming others. For example: “I feel overwhelmed when plans change last minute. Could we try to decide earlier next time?” This keeps the conversation open rather than defensive.
✅ Start where it feels safest
Sometimes it’s easier to practice boundary-setting with supportive people before trying it with family, coworkers, or others who might push back.
✅ Remember: guilt doesn’t mean you’re wrong
Feeling guilty often just means you’re stepping out of old patterns, not that you’re doing something bad. Over time, that guilt can fade and be replaced with relief, freedom, and confidence.
About our group
In Setting Boundaries & Finding Your Voice, we don’t just talk about boundaries in theory. We share real-life stories, practice responses out loud, and support each other in trying out new ways to speak up.
It’s a space where you can say, “I’m tired of always saying yes,” or “I don’t even know what my boundaries are,” and hear, “Me too,” from others who get it.
We laugh together, sometimes vent, and always remind each other that it’s okay, and necessary, to take up space, say no, and still be kind.
This isn’t about turning yourself into someone louder, tougher, or “harder.” It’s about becoming clearer, calmer, and more confident in who you already are and what you truly need.
If any part of this resonates with you—if you’ve ever wished it felt easier to speak up or wondered if it’s okay to set limits—you’re warmly invited to join us.